compulsivity

Who knows if that is actually a word, but it describes my behavior at the hospital well enough. about 2 times per week I add up my total number of patient/client contact hours, and project where I will be by the end of the semester and if it will be enough. Thankfully this past week at the hospital was a pretty busy one, i hope that it keeps up that way. I finally put my hospital hours into my excel spreadsheet that I keep everything since starting the program last fall in (I have to say it is a very pretty spreadsheet, another obsession/compulsion of mine-- is anyone else out there meticulous when it comes to organizing the layout of your spreadsheets, line width, total columns, number/frequency of lines in the table...need I go on?). My grand total as of the end of October is a whopping 221 contact hours. I have to get to 400 by next May, that only gives me 7 more months. There is some other random observation hours that we can count, so really it is a total of 375. But still-- I need 150 hours in 7 months, and it took me 13 months to get 221. I don't think my compulsivity goes unwarranted...

in bed

I am still sick I guess from a stomach bug that got me earlier this week. And although it may not have been MRSA, it still did freak me out a bit since I now spend my days at a hospital. Having a lot of free time because you are in bed recuperating may not be a good thing for someone who is a bit of a germaphobe and anxiety prone. The good news is that I am still alive, and the doctor said it was just a gastroenteritis. The bad news is:
1. I may not be hospital material, considering all of the worst-case scenarios that played out in my head. The situation was not helped by the fact that I am one of those millions of Americans that are uninsured. (The one redeeming moment of this week in bed: I have since purchased catastrophic insurance, and though it will add a brick or 2 to my wall of grad school debt, it is worth the alternative of performing my own appendectomy).
2. I have gone a week without beer or coffee, and it was a sad week indeed. I did some experimenting within the past 24 hours and I can confidently say my tummy is not ready for either legalized substance yet.
3. I am supposed to go out with friends tonight, which is a major bummer (see #2).

settling in

Things are settling down for me at the hospital. Maybe that first week I bit off more than I can chew understanding-wise, I am not too ashamed to admit that I probably did most of the stressing of my-own-self :)
I have started seeing patients now in my 3rd week, though still supervised (thank goodness). The most nerve racking task that I have to do is a certain part of the Oral Mechanism Exam where I have to gag the patient with a tongue depressor to see if their gag reflex is intact (if they don't gag, then that means there is some cranial nerve involvement-- CN X to be more specific. I did my first Oral Mech earlier this week, but didn't get a gag. But it was my fault because I was too timid in my poking of the back of the patient's mouth. I have been told to be quick and aggressive when doing it, but it just feels so uncomfortable!
I have gotten to see some interesting things too, including laryngectomy and rhinectomy. And I haven't fainted or gotten sick! The only problem is my bad habits of touching my face and chewing on pens-- neither are really a good idea when working in a hospital where patients are on contact precautions. My goal: no MRSA through Dec 08!

this is supposed to be easy?

I survived my first week at the hospital. The thing is, the class a year ahead of us all said this year in our externships would be much easier than last year at the clinic. But I just don't see how that is possible (32 hours in 3 1/2 days). I have learned my lesson though, and next week I won't try to understand everything that all of the doctors say during rounds. I am not a resident or an intern, so I am allowing myself some zone-out time. The patients are interesting, but I can't go into much detail. I will learn alot this semester that is for sure-- I have already observed 2 video swallow exams and 2 bedside swallows; voice, swallowing, aural rehab, and brain injury therapy. I should be getting some outpatients of my own to start seeing for therapy next week, which I am ready for. We'll see about those swallow evals though, that should take some time....

am I too neurotic?

If you found a horse fly (one of those big ugly ones) crawling around on your toothbrush this morning, what would you do? I thought soaking it in Listerine for 10 minutes would do the trick, but even then I gagged at the idea of putting it in my mouth... crazy?

a new endevour

I got my fall placement recently, which will be at a hospital that is a bike ride from my house. I don't think I'll be able to ride a bike there though, considering my dress code includes heels and dress pants or a skirt. It's a nice idea though. My supervisor gave me a sneak peak of what I will get to do. It's a long list of alot of new things that I have never done, including swallowing evals (bedside fiberoptic endoscopic video!, meaning we stick a tiny camera up your nose and down your throat) and therapy, traumatic brain injury, stroke (I have worked with stroke patients actually, just not acute), tumor board (wow, didn't know speech therapists sat on tumor boards), craniofacial clinic (I saw a bit of this in Mexicali, but I am really excited to get this chance again-- this would include stuff like cleft palate and cleft lip), voice disorders, stuttering, and motor speech disorders. phew-- I am nervous already, trying to enjoy the rest of this break but maybe I should be preparing??

It's been awhile

I was looking for my last recipe post and finally found it back in January. It's not that I haven't been in the kitchen since then, just haven't been posting. I wanted to write this one down because it was that good. I can't wait to make it again, and I thought might as well write it here in case other people want to try it. The bread is really really moist, maybe too moist for some. Using frozen berries weighs it down a bit I think, so if you go that direction definitely be patient in the baking-- it may take awhile longer.

Lemon Berry Yogurt Bread
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
servings: 1 loaf
time: 1 1/2 hours

• 1 1/2 cups + extra for the frozen fruit
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup plain greek yogurt
• 1 cup sugar (+ 1 tablespoon sugar for sauce)
  
• 3 eggs
• grated lemon zest from 2 lemons
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1 1/2 cups frozen berries, thawed (I used a mix of blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries)
• 1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a loaf pan.

Mix together flour, baking powder, and salt. In another bowl, whisk together the yogurt, sugar, eggs, lemon zest, vanilla and oil. Slowly whisk the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients. Drain the berries on a paper towel and then mix them with the remaining tablespoon of flour to dry them out a bit more, and fold them very gently into the batter. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for about 60+ minutes.

Meanwhile, cook the 1/3 cup lemon juice and remaining 1 tablespoon sugar in a small pan until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is clear. Set aside.

Allow the cake to cool for 10 minutes. Then remove from the pan and pour the lemon-sugar mixture over the cake and allow it to soak in. Enjoy!

Miss Popularity

Perhaps my favorite post yet from 'Stuff White People Like'. The best sentence is the last one of the article.

Girls with Bangs

If you see a white woman and you are trying to figure out whether she is liked or just merely tolerated by white people, the best thing you can do is get a quick look at her haircut. It is a known fact that white people love women who wear their hair with bangs that hang straight down.

A number of very popular white women have worn this hairstyle including Joni Mitchell, Jane Birkin, Jenny Lewis and every girl ever photographed by Vice Magazine or the Cobrasnake. (Note: it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with these two things as they are both beloved by cool white people. Follow up note: these same things are hated by cooler white people).

Many people associate this type of haircut with children and people looking for the most efficient way to get hair out of their eyes. But for white people, this simple haircut makes a bold declaration by saying that the wearer is artistic, deep, and has probably dated a guy in a band you like. Of course, as with many things loved by white people, simple often means expensive and these haircuts usually cost upwards of $100.

It is essential for you to know this haircut is more than a mere fashion statement– it is an important cultural marking. Throughout the world, many cultures feature ceremonies to announce that a girl has become a woman. For white people, the haircut-with-bangs is an important symbol that a female has completed her transformation from a nerdy girl to a cool woman. In fact, if you went to high school with a nerdy white girl who moved to a big city, there is a good chance she will show up to your high school reunion with this haircut.

When you are introduced to a group of white people, it’s a good idea to befriend the girl with the bangs. She’s probably the most popular.

The Dog, Cat, Rat

Ronnie and his friends were bachelor partying it up last weekend and ran into this guy. The groom was probably the most excited (and most intoxicated) one of all, but they all shared their account with me upon return.

I think it is a fair thing to say that my goal when I am up in Santa Barbara next month is to find, meet, and take a picture with this modern marvel.

questions worth considering

1. Why do I seem to have an attention deficit disorder in those times where my attention to a project is especially needed?
2. Is going to work at a coffee shop with free internet really the wisest choice?
3. Who decided to schedule finals immediately following mother's day?
4. How many references for a five page paper are too many?
5. Do my grades for graduate school really matter?
   

A little education for you

April is rolling to a close, and I haven't gotten around to saying it till now- But in case you didn't know, April is Autism Awareness Month. And in honor of that, I thought I would bring a little more awareness to you the reader by giving you my:

'Top 10 Lesser Known Facts about Autism'

1. April is Autism Awareness Month (duh), but Autism also shares the title with 'National Poetry Month' and 'National Sexual Assault Awareness Month'. It should also be noted that April 2nd is WORLD Autism Awareness Day- take that poetry!
2. Jenny McCarthy is sort of crazy.
3. Her teaching-kids-to-play video actually isn't that bad.
4. But no, Jenny McCarthy did not cure autism.
   
5. The Gluten-free Casin-free diet has no empirical evidence to support it.
6. While I'm at it, chelation doesn't work either.
7. If you have seen one kid with autism, you have seen one kid with autism.
8. Those vaccines don't cause autism. And in fact, the preservative that was thought to be the culprit (thiamine) has not been in the vaccine since the mid-nineties.
9. Not all people with autism have a savant skill, like in Rain Man.
10. Behavior therapy (or more specifically ABA) does not always mean drills sitting at a table, Incidental Teaching and PRT are two great empirically supported ABA treatments that do not involve any tables. In fact, you my friend engage in ABA based behaviors every day- you aren't going to work in the morning for the pleasure of it. It just isn't as obvious because your reinforcer comes in the form of a paycheck every other week.
    

my next career

It's decided. Once I am finished with this whole Speech Pathology thing, I am going to be a surgeon. That's right, a surgeon.
Last week I had a great opportunity to go with a group of surgeons and SLPs over to Mexicali for a cranio-facial clinic. It was a crazy whirlwind two days. We were greeted with a large group of residents waiting for us at the Red Cross clinic down there. There were kids with needs that we don't see that late in their development. I saw quite a few cleft palate and cleft lip, fistulas, and other non-facial anomalies. The crazy part of it all is that we started our day with assessments of oral structure and function, and the kids were scheduled for surgery for that day or the next!
The best part of the trip was when I got to sit in on part of a surgery for a cleft palate. That's where the new profession comes in. I thought I would be queasy, but was the exact opposite-- I didn't want to leave, it was so interesting.
The only problem with this new career in the future is all the schooling. Maybe if I start a collection now, I can raise the money I need to get through 6 more years of school. I would be really good in that operating room, I just know it. No really, I would!

on being a hero

I have plenty of school work due this week, so of course.... it is the perfect time to write.
Did you also know that it is the perfect time to save the world?
I have donated 820 grains of rice to help end world hunger today. I have also expanded my vocabulary a bit. Did you know that 'grotty' means wretched?
What have you done to help the world today?
If you are interested in helping the hungry, or studying for the GRE or writing a dissertation and need to expand your lexicon, I recommend heading to the site....

a reality barometer:

Is this actually true of me:

from Stuff White People Like
#81 Graduate School

Being white means to engage in a day in, day out struggle to prove that you are smarter than other white people. By the time they reach college, most white people are confronted with the fact that they may not be as smart as they imagined.

In coffee shops, bars, and classes white people will engaging in conversations about authors and theorists that go nowhere as both parties start rattling off progressively more obscure people until eventually one side recognizes one and claims a victory. By the time they graduate (or a year or two afterwards), white people realize that they will need an edge to succeed in the cut-throat world of modern white society.

That edge is graduate school.

Though professional graduate schools like law and medicine are desirable, the true ivory tower of academia is most coveted as it imparts true, useless knowledge. The best subjects are English, History, Art History, Film, Gender Studies, Studies, Classics, Philosophy, Political Science, Literature, and the ultimate: Comp Lit. MFA’s are also acceptable.

Returning to school is an opportunity to join an elite group of people who have a passion for learning that is so great they are willing to forgo low five-figure publishing and media jobs to follow their dreams of academic glory.

Being in graduate school satisfies many white requirements for happiness. They can:

• believe they are helping the world (of course I am!)
• complain that the government/university doesn’t support them enough (well it really doesn't, and those interest rates on loans are getting higher every year)
• claim they are poor (to the extremest extent, perhaps)
• feel as though are getting smarter (my brain does frequently hurt from all of the learning)
• act superior to other people (me, superior?)
• enjoy perpetual three day weekends (maybe at other programs, but certainly not mine)
• and sleep in every day of the week (I wish, unless you consider 6:30 or 7 sleeping in)

After acquiring a Masters Degree that will not increase their salary or hiring desirability, many white people will move on to a PhD program where they will go after their dream of becoming a professor. However, by their second year they usually wake up with a hangover and realize: “I’m going to spend six years in graduate school to make $35,000 and live in the middle of nowhere?”

After this crisis, a white person will follow one of two paths. They will either drop out and move to New York, San Francisco or their original home town where they can resume the job that they left to attend graduate school.

The second path involves becoming a professor, moving to a small town and telling everyone how they are awful and uncultured.

It is important to understand that a graduate degree does not make someone smart, so do not feel intimidated. They may have read more, but in no way does that make them smarter, more competent, or more likable than you. The best thing you can do is to act impressed when a white person talks about critical theorists. This helps them reaffirm that what they learned in graduate school was important and that they are smarter than you. This makes white people easier to deal with when you get promoted ahead of them.

things that are awesome

this will be a running list I think, but I found two things that are awesome today that I just could not pass up the opportunity to share:

1. Amy Winehouse is launching her own clothing line and make-up too! This is awesome. I can just imagine the crazy outfits and jumbosized liquid eyeliner and hair spray. I can't wait to see little minature high school Amys walking the street. Crack is sold seperately of course...

2. A new blog that is making me laugh out loud frequently this evening. The name tells it all: Stuff White People Like. I have probably said "so true, so true" 5 dozen times within the past two hours. And I have only read 4 entries. My favorites for you to find are: bottles of water and threatening to move to Canada. If you are white and don't think you have a culture, you should read this blog.

my first superbowl pool

I had fun creating my first superbowl pool this year with all of my classmates. Since we are all grad students with no money, the boxes were 50 cents a square. That's a far cry from the hospital pools my dad participates in that are $25 a square.
Too bad it was a slow moving game, didn't make for a very exciting pool. I ended up with some good numbers and good chances, but no wins. Oh well, congrats to my speechy friends who did win!
Now the next question: What is the next thing I can bet 50 cents on?

uncharted territory

The wait is finally over and almost over at the same time. I know my clinic assignment now-- adults! I am excited for the opportunity to work with adults this semester, it is a completely new and forgein experience for me. After years and years of working with kids, this will certainly be an adjustment. I have actually only had one job since I started working after high school that didn't involve children. It was in a library at UCSD, working in an adjunct section of Inter Library Loan, where I scanned and emailed journal article to people all day. Boy was that exciting!
My main concern is breaking the habit of using that voice that you get with kids. I have certainly been conditioned for years (incorporating behavioral psychology terms here, please excuse me) to respond to whomever I am working with in that high but soft voice with an affirmative "good job!"
Clinic starts next week, let's hope I don't tell my adult clients that they are "awesome".
If I do a good job, can I at least get a sticker?

mmmm, cheesy

I was so excited to see my new Fine Cooking magazine last weekend, even though I haven't gotten a chance to read it yet. The front cover showed a picture of macaroni and cheese, which I got hooked on and couldn't stop thinking about for a week. I had never So finally, I resigned to just try the recipe without my beloved magazine. I read through several recipes from the web and my roomie's new 'Cooking Light' magazine. So excuse the following recipe's lack of details, as it is my own. But trust that it comes from a blend of other reputable recipes (mostly Cooking Light, so you can feel better that this is pretty healthy) and it is utterly delicious. So much so that I have made this mac and cheese recipe two times in the past week. I also didn't realize how great this would be, so I didn't take a picture. I am sure I will be making it again soon, as it is one of my new favorite winter dishes-- toasty warm on a rainy day!

Mac and Cheese
adapted from a bunch of recipes
servings: 3-4 as main dish, 6-8 as side
time: 45 minutes

• 1 1/2 cups elbow macaroni
  
• 6-8 oz cheddar cheese (maybe 2 cups)
• 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
• 2 Tbsp flour
• 3/4 cup milk
• a good dash of paprika, salt and pepper and small dash of chili powder
• dollop of sour cream
• tsp Dijon mustard
• 1 slice of bread, in crumbs using the food processor (I use the butt of the bread that no one likes) -it should be about 1/2 if you want to substitute boxed bread crumbs
• 1 Tbsp melted butter
  

Cook the macaroni in salted water, until it is al dente (it will soften in the baking process as it absorbs some of the milk). Meanwhile, grate the cheese and make the sauce. To make sauce, first create a rue by cooking the flour and milk together in a gentle simmer for 5 minutes until it is thickened (use a whisk to blend together). Add the cheese. Once the cheese is melted, turn off the fire and add spices, mustard and sour cream. The sauce should be runny enough to slide off the spoon as a liquid. Add more milk or sour cream to thin as necessary. Add macaroni. Put it all in a 8-9 inch casserole dish. Mix bread crumbs and butter, and add to macaroni as topping. Bake in a 350 oven for 20-30 minutes.
taster comments coming soon!

a local incident

Some may have seen the local news coverage about a shooting that occured less than a block from my parents house on Saturday night. The incident happenned at the Masonic Lodge that shares a parking lot with my church in Long Beach. Intial rumors and reports in the night linked the incident to Parkcrest members or staff. Later it was confirmed that the shooting occured at a birthday party for 2 teens at the neighboring Masonic Lodge. Two died in the incident and one suffered non-life threatening injuries. I came into town on Sunday afternoon as the dust was settling, so I missed most of the initial uncertainty. My parents had come home late Saturday night from LAX (right after the incident) to find their neighborhood blocked off by dozens of police cruisers. The police were in the process of shuttling 300 teenagers that were at the event to the elementary school a few blocks away for questioning. They explained to one policeman that they lived in the neighborhood and as he let them by my dad asked if it was safe to go home. The policeman responded "I don't really know." The gunman has still not been caught.

Here is a video of the NBC news coverage from Sunday afternoon.

my nighttime endevour

this is your brain.

this is your brain on too much neuroanatomy.

either that or a new pursuit in cosmotology school. the break from studies is almost over. bring it on.